"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
Over the weekend someone pretty wonderful brought me to an indoor rock climbing gym. I was super nervous about going - partly because I'm a crazy perfectionist and I don't like when I can't do things correctly the first time but also because it was something completely new. I was very lucky to go with someone that was extremely patient while taking the time to teach me and push me out of my comfort zone. Without his patience and guidance I wouldn't have lasted more than 20 minutes in that place but instead I spent several hours there and had one small victory of climbing a shorter wall (not bad for my first time!) ThanQ Topher :)
While at the gym I had a "light bulb moment". I started thinking about how I was acting when attempting to climb and how those actions were very much like how I am with life in general. I would walk up to the wall and start to climb it but when I came to a part that seemed difficult (the crux... or as I was calling it, the horcrux) I would hang on too long and just look at how difficult the next steps appeared to be. This would result in letting go of the wall and falling back to the floor as my arms would start to hurt and I would start to feel overwhelmed. Finally after multiple attempts, I stopped over-thinking it and just did it. Once I stopped hanging there thinking too much about the next steps, I was able to climb up the wall and hit the "victory box"!
When I hit a "crux" in life I tend to over-think things and just sort of stay there rather than jumping in and just dealing with it. I look at the next steps and feel overwhelmed and even sometimes scared of what those steps will bring. In some situations of my past I have stayed there in that overwhelmed state for far too long, not doing anything and remaining stagnant. In the past year, I have gotten a lot better about thinking on my feet and not letting the situations overwhelm me but that doesn't mean that I don't run into these "walls" from time to time.
I guess that what I am trying to say in a rather winded way is that going to that rock climbing gym and climbing that one wall really made me think about how I handle situations in my life. Hanging there and looking up at the overwhelming path ahead of me got me nowhere but actually reaching for the next rock and taking it one step at a time got me to the top. I never thought that I would learn a life lesson from climbing a wall but I did and it could not have come at a better time. I've been doing a lot of soul searching over the past few weeks and rather than just thinking about it too much I am simply taking it step by step until I can get everything sorted out.
Oh! And I have a new love for rock climbing...so there's that too :)
Lots of Love,